cali≠gari – Yowamushi Kemushi

Weakling Pest

Calling abuses in the shadows, can’t believe in anyone at all
A lonely space, that’s comfortable for me
I don’t do good things, but it’s not that I do bad things either
Nevertheless I somehow feel guilty
Gossiping behind my back that someone’s made a fool of me
Laughing at me, talking badly of me
And I’ve no place to run to when I’m cornered…
It’s a trivial thing, but I despair right away and it’s painful
The ocher that sighed so it would cloud over…

I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday
I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday

I was raised and expected to be smarter than anyone
From the time I was young it was always “study and be praised”
I could only guess my father’s temper by being beaten and kicked
On some days the terror would occasionally revive, deep in my heart…
Can I base all my value on the value of others?
Men and women both are only blind, with no sense of even that
I won’t be a person that everyone recognizes, I don’t want to be
I’m dragging along a past full of trauma

I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday
I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday

When it seems like I’ll break I’m a madman of course, I’ll go to hospital
It’s a victim delusion but I’m reckless, I can’t stop
I have a feeling I’ll be too excited when I’m in front of everyone
I get strange things in my head like “I’ll keep stabbing you with a knife”
It’s not that I think random murders are other people’s problems
I couldn’t avoid the limits of hatred and malice and I got scared
When I act out madness, even reality becomes funny
Always, anywhere, the truth is I want to be crazy
I want to be crazy…

Like a child embraced by his mother
I can go to sleep just this night, right?
When it’s silent and I dream with peaceful feelings
It disrupts me, that intruding voice

I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday
I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday
I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday
I’ll see someday
I’ll see now
I’ll see someday

Me, the weakling pest…
Me, the weakling pest…
Me, the weakling pest…
Me, the weakling pest…

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.